Youth by French painter William-
Adolphe Bouguereau. White has
traditionally been meant for virgins.
I was in a midst of friends of lately and the above topic was something we discussed heavily. One of my female friends just walked up and asked me directly, “Are you a virgin?.” At first, it sounded absurd but later on, I discovered she ad a genuine reason for the question. My was which was Yes, was one that sparked an argument to life. So I decided to right my own opinion on what we argued about, “Virginity, Pride or Lack of chance?”
Virginity which means absence from any form of sexual intercourse is something every person experiences until they get into the world os sexual connections. In Africa, virginity, especially among women are highly respected in the society. It is believed that a woman should remain a virgin until marriage and the consequences are shattering for any woman found guilty of pre-marital sex. In some traditions, woman are been outcasted or burnt if they are discovered not to be a virgin. But in the modern world, is it still the same? In some cultures, an unmarried female
who is found not to be a virgin, whether by choice
or as a result of a rape, can be subject to shame,
ostracism or even an honour killing. In those
cultures, female virginity is closely interwoven
with personal or even family honour, especially
those known as shame societies, in which the loss
of virginity before marriage is a matter of deep shame.
Virginity is regarded as a valuable commodity in
some cultures, and the right to have sexual intercourse with a virgin can be bought. For
example, in Japan, geishas would sell the right of
first access in a ritual called mizuage. There is
also a legendary droit du seigneur (“the lord’s
right”, often conflated with the Latin phrase “ius
primae noctis”) which allegedly entitled the lord of
an estate to take the virginity of the estate’s
virgins on the night of their marriage, a right
which the lord can trade for money. In the film
Pretty Baby (1978) there is an auction for the
virginity of 12-year-old Violet. Modern virginity
auctions, like that of Natalie Dylan, are discussed
in the 2013 documentary How to Lose Your Virginity.
There are varying understanding’s as to which
types of sexual activities result in loss of
virginity. The traditional view is that virginity is
only lost through vaginal penetration by the penis,
consensual or non-consensual, and that acts of oral
sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation or other forms
of non-penetrative sex do not result in loss of
virginity. A person who engages in such acts with
no history of having engaged in vaginal intercourse
is often regarded among heterosexuals and
researchers as “technically a virgin”.
The first act of sexual intercourse by a female is
commonly considered within many cultures to be an
important personal milestone. Its significance is
reflected in expressions such as “saving oneself”,
“losing one’s virginity,” “taking someone’s
virginity” and sometimes as “deflowering.” The
occasion is at times seen as the end of innocence,
integrity, or purity, and the sexualization of the
individual.
Traditionally, there was a cultural expectation
that a female would not engage in pre marital sex
and would come to her wedding a virgin, which would
be indicated by the bride wearing a white gown, and
that she would “give up” her virginity to her new
husband in the act of consummation of the
marriage.
In some cultures, it is so important that a female
be a virgin that a female will refrain from
inserting any object into her vagina, such as a
tampons, menstrual cup or dildo, or undergoing some
medical examinations, so as not to damage the
hymen. Some females who have been previously
sexually active (or their hymen has been otherwise
damaged) may undergo a surgical procedure, called
hymenorrhaphy or hymenoplasty, to repair or
replace her hymen, and cause vaginal bleeding on
the next intercourse as proof of virginity.
In other cultures, for example in many
modern-day Western cultures, sexual abstinence
before marriage is not taken as seriously as it is
in those discussed above. In some parts of Africa,
the myth that sex with a virgin can cure HIV/AIDS continues to prevail, and, as such, many young
girls are raped.
If a man or woman in this current time, probably aged between 18-26 is still claiming a virgin, she’s extremely seen as a woman who hasn’t been chanced to meet or man, there is no sense of pride in being a virgin nowadays.
So the big question is, In current Nigeria, Lagos to be precise, there has been a high rate of teenage pregnancy, our girls no longer have pride for their priced asset. And what’s most funny is the fact is if the virgin in this case is a male, then he is an object of peer pressure.
My fellow readers, what’s your take? Is virginity lack of pride or just lack of opportunity?
Just scrool down and type a comment (name and email fields are not important)
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