Men complain that women don’t make sense. Women
complain that men don’t make sense. Even after
hanging with so many men like my father,
grandfather, godfather, brother and my brother’s
friends, I still can’t quite comprehend how a man’s mind works However, I’ve heard enough women complain to know some things guys repeatedly do wrong. Here are 10 tips on what men must learn in a relationship about women.
Remember important dates.
Unless her religion requires her not to celebrate
these days, remember annual anniversaries,
birthdays and company celebrations. If it’s been a year since she’s made partner at her job, she will be impressed that you congratulated her on a job well done. Regardless of her not wanting to get older, a birthday card and a gift wouldn’t hurt, even if it’s not a luxurious gift. Anniversaries are something to
celebrate—it takes a lot of work to make a
relationship work, so this celebration is for you both
sticking it out. If you’re spending New Year’s Eve
or Valentine’s Day without her, she’ll probably
question how much you really like her considering
these days are notorious for couples to be together.
It’s an extremely bad move to spend couples’
holidays with your friends in a Chicago sports bar
downtown watching the game unless she works in the Loop too and you’re waiting to meet her afterwards.
Don’t turn into a stranger.
Physically, people are destined to change, but
mentally the changes should be improvement and
growth. However, keep in mind the man you were
when you first met her. If you were sending her
flowers every Tuesday, 30 years later you’d get
major kudos for still sending those Tuesday
chrysanthemums. If you were calling her and having
three-hour conversations, five minute phone calls
followed by two days of not calling or not wanting to
pick up the phone at all won’t work. If you smelled
like Diesel cologne when she first met you, but now
you smell like dirt and car oil, head to the nearest
Carson Pirie Scott after you take a shower. If you
turned into a different person once you got her, she
may regard the man she met initially as your
representative. That hurts the relationship because
if she fell in like or love with the man you
introduced yourself to be and you suddenly turn into
someone else, you may as well be a stranger to her.
Listen to Tamia’s song “Stranger In My House” to
hear how women regard changes in a relationship.
Make time for her.
If you spend more time at work or with your friends
than you do with her and there’s a way you can
negotiate the two but you choose not to, you and her
will have problems. There are women who want to hog
up all of your time and want you to disassociate
yourself from your friends, but assuming she’s not
that territorial and just wants quality time, try your
best to give it to her. Buying her gifts isn’t going to
do it, at least not for the less materialistic woman.
She wants to see your face, feel your body, and have
a conversation with you. If you can make time to
hang out with your friends, why not make time to be
with your lady?
Say “thank you” when she does something nice.
Both men and women tend to take each other for
granted in a relationship, and when someone does
something regularly, it can sometimes seem less
special. However, think about something she does for
you regularly that she doesn’t really have to do but
does it to help you out.
Thank her for it.
Manners matter a great deal in any relationship, but sometimes a woman just wants to know she’s being acknowledged.
Keep your hands to yourself.
Although this one may seem obvious, there is no
reason whatsoever that a man, especially someone
who is noticeably stronger, should put his hands on a woman. There are men who say if a woman acts like she can take him on, then she should be treated
equally. Realistically, a man can restrain a woman
without hitting her. If you are in a relationship with
a woman who is abusive, leave.
Don’t let a woman take advantage of you for being a gentleman.
You deserve someone who can hold a conversation
without destroying your property or putting her
hands on you. Leave that woman with her copy
of “Waiting to Exhale” and single. If you have to call
the police to get her to stop, so be it. Assault and
battery are not men’s crimes only.
Listen when she talks.
Men complain a lot about women blabbing their
mouths too much, but sometimes they repeat the
same complaints because you weren’t listening the
first time. Actually listen to repeat nagging and nip
it in the bud. If you don’t agree with her, stand your
ground until this discussion comes to an end and let
her know you’re not budging on the topic eternally.
But if you’re going to be cooperative, hear her out.
If she’s tired of you Chicago stepping with other
women on the dance floor at Mr. G’s, how about
teaching her your moves?
Don’t cut off the affection.
We hear about women who cut off sex or give a man
the silent treatment to teach him a lesson, but it
bothers her as much as it bothers you. A woman likes
affection from her man, and when she feels like he
doesn’t want to touch her, it can make her feel
insecure about herself and/or the relationship. If
you’re really not in the mood for sex, at least roll
over and cuddle with her. Making her feel bad about
not being in the mood for sex while you’re cuddling is
also a downer. There may be times when both parties
are tired, but don’t give her an ultimatum of sex
with cuddling or neither. She may grow to resent you
because of that kind of pressure.
Pay attention to her outside male friends.
When a woman is not getting the attention she needs
from her man, she will look for that attention
somewhere else. If she has male friends, make sure
you’ve met them. Pay attention to her body language
and conversation around these guys. Men and women
can be platonic friends, but it’s generally a good idea
to be your woman’s best friend as well as her lover,
and if she has a closer friend than you, you might
want to have a talk with her about the direction in
your relationship. Platonic friends will be respectful
of the relationship and will probably want to befriend
you too or at least be polite to you to avoid having to
cut the friendship off for good. Don’t take on an
accusatory tone, but it’s nothing wrong with being
concerned. However, it’s not a good idea to demand
she cut lose long-time platonic friends who have
been with her way before you came along just like
you wouldn’t want to give up your own friends for
Be weary of asking for advice from your friends who have no girlfriends or wives.
While the only two people who fully know each other
are the two people in the relationship, when you tell
a story to your guy friends (or even female friends),
keep in mind that you’ll usually make yourself look
good in the story. So when your friends come back
cheering you on for your decision and wagging a
finger at your woman’s actions, take it with a grain
of salt. You know you haven’t told the whole story.
And if they don’t have girlfriends or wives of their
own, remember misery loves company. Listening to
different perspectives doesn’t hurt, but don’t make
anybody’s opinion the final say. The only person who
truly knows what your actions should be is you. Step
back from the situation and imagine yourself as the
woman in the relationship. Would you be okay with
your actions then? Remember the old saying about
treating people the way you want to be treated?
Be honest even if you know it’ll cause conflict.
Holding in your emotions from her can leave her
confused and vulnerable. If you love her, tell her. If
you like her, tell her. If you want to see other
people, tell her. If the date just didn’t go well and
you’re just not that into her, be a man about it and
tell her. She deserves to know that she’s not the
one for you so please don’t string her along. Sooner
or later, your true feelings are going to come out, so
you may as well be honest (in a courteous way) with
her at all times instead of letting her find out the
hard way. Otherwise you’ll make her into a
detective, and there’s nothing more annoying than a woman whose side job is an unpaid employee of the Police Department investigating everything
you say or do.
So that’s it pals, Keep coming for more and you can add more by comment below. Love y’all.
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