How to Get a Good Man.
It is not easy for women to find a good man, and to be honest it is not easy for a man to find a good woman.
This is written from a man’s perspective to help
frustrated women that are sincerely looking for a good man but keep finding losers.
1. Be yourself. When you meet someone for
the first time, you may be tempted to be
someone you’re not, such as “putting on your
best face”. There’s nothing wrong with
wanting to make a good impression. However, it
is possible to take this too far and in turn repel
men. The same applies with myths about
dressing sexy and excessive flirtation. If you do
not respect your body, you will only attract
men who have a similar lack of respect for you
and your body, and a good man will find it more
difficult to take you seriously. Be yourself, and
a real man will respect you.
2. Have a life. Desperate, dramatic, and clingy
relationships are often rooted in a feeling of
need and desperation for a man to fill your life.
Even if you have low self-esteem, work over
time to build it. Pursue your goals, explore your
passions, have an interesting life, do things
that take you outside your boundaries. Don’t
put up a tough exterior to get over shyness;
gradually learn to build trust with a network of
people, so that your boyfriend isn’t the only
person you open up to and share your life with.
Also remember to trust yourself first. If you
can’t trust yourself, you are likely to not trust
3. Be relaxed and cool. Most guys hate it when
girls are possessive, moody, clingy, controlling,
etc. Learn to relax, and have fun. We all have
too much going on in our lives; don’t be the high
maintenance “drama queen”. Having a woman
around who makes life more difficult than
enjoyable will make a man lose interest. If you
do things like show genuine concern when the
man has had a rough day, it will earn his
respect and go toward winning him over and a
good man will reciprocate. Remember that most
men, especially the good ones, are looking for
someone with whom they can be comfortable,
and not someone who is always intense.
4. Realize differences in communication.
Men can often miss the subtle messages that
women send in their body language. Don’t judge
a guy because of this; it’s just the way men
are. Subtle body language like smiles only make a
man think that you might like him; he can’t
assume it means you’re interested without
being accused of being a self-absorbed jerk.
To drive the point home, gradually introduce
more “obvious” body language like playful
touches on the arm, playful banter and teasing,
winks, inside jokes, playfulness, or (when you
know him better) attempts to find a man’s
ticklish spots. (Don’t be afraid to kindly tease
him over minor things – women who pretend a
man is perfect are regarded as weak in their
eyes.) Flirting will not only show him you like him
enough to get that physical and playful, but
also help to break the physical barrier and
allow a man to feel more comfortable making a
few advances to you. But don’t forget to look
at how he is reacting to you.
5. Take a good look at yourself.
Psychological studies have shown that people
seek out partners to fill a psychological void.
Sometimes these voids are unhealthy; for
example a woman who is unhealthy will actually
seek out any man for the “high of seduction”
or to get attention and feel desirable. Look
inside yourself and ask yourself why you want
a man so badly, be truly honest with yourself,
and, if need be, talk to a therapist about this.
A woman with issues only attracts a guy with
issues as well, and a good, real man doesn’t
want anything to do with a woman who has
more issues than TIME magazine. If you want a
good, healthy relationship with a real man,
make certain that your own mental state and
intentions are healthy.
6.Drop the games.
Nobody likes a partner who plays “head games”. This is deceptive, and will hurt anybody who trusts you. Be real, don’t play games, and good men will respect you and may even pursue you. Playing head games will only make good men run away. Remember the communication thing? That is especially true here. If you like a guy, don’t push him away and act like you don’t like him. Tell him. Yes, there are some men who do like the thrill of the chase, but all good men genuinely want to
respect you and your wishes, and will leave
you alone if you insist on it. Remember, men
communicate directly; if you act like you don’t
want him, he’ll think you don’t want him.
7. Treat him with respect.
This is the most important thing of all. Men hate being around a woman who emasculates them, and a good man won’t take long to leave such a woman.
Don’t be afraid to help your man feel good
about himself. A little known secret is that
men are just as insecure as women. If he’s
with his friends or family be open to
opportunities to let your man look like “the
man”. It will win his love and respect.
8. Don’t be afraid to make a move. Let’s be
real: a good man doesn’t desperately need any
woman; he would like to meet a good woman. If
he’s a good man, he will appreciate the
compliment to his attractiveness, at the very
least. But remember that compliments are
usually given to acquaintances – people who
are intimate usually have a more honest
connection, with playful teasing and banter.
Think of good relationships between brothers
and sisters, parents and children, especially
couples – they’re always joking, laughing,
teasing, flirting in a positive way. A woman
who is always complimenting may simply be
boring and look desperate. Even if you are old-
fashioned and never want to be the woman
who asks a man for a date, you can still go out
of your way to talk to him, and arrange to be
with him. Don’t overdo this, however; unless he
is already attracted to you before the
encounter, the more obvious it is that you’ve
put a ton of time into the encounter without
his direct encouragement, the more desperate
and less attractive you look. Work on building
9. Respect yourself. If you say no, he should
stop. If he doesn’t stop, leave. Don’t ever be
uncomfortable saying no. Don’t go against your
morals to try to keep a guy. If you feel this is
necessary, then either he’s not a good man, or
he is a good one but simply isn’t a good match
for you specifically (e. g. he is currently
“playing the field” and is up front and honest
about it, but you’re looking for an exclusive
relationship). Don’t be uncomfortable saying
yes, either. If you feel the time is right, believe
in your worth and don’t worry that you’re
“giving yourself away.” You respect yourself
and you’re confident that he’ll come back for
more! A man who doesn’t respect you in the
morning never properly respected you to begin
with, and a man who doesn’t respect your
wishes to wait is too impatient to make a good
partner. Either way, find someone else.
10. Follow the Golden Rule. That means apply
the same rules to yourself that you’d apply to
others, including him. Real men do in fact notice
this; they just don’t scream it out. For example,
if he tells you he has a girlfriend and things are
not working out, Stop! and think ladies that
this could be a “test” on how you would handle
the situation, so stand your ground and cut off
communication (hint: “Golden Rule”). Second
example: if you do want to try finding his
ticklish spots, then don’t complain one bit if he
tries finding yours in return. Don’t go on about
how you “don’t NEED no man!” or about “men
this, men that” if you don’t want him treating
you the same way. DO, on the other hand,
treat him–and others–with respect, dignity,
and honor. Others will notice, too, and who
knows–if they know you want a good, real
man but don’t yet have one, they just might
introduce you to one!
11. Don’t Be clingy. This means, don’t show that
you love this person by being near them all the
time. They need their space and they need to
know that you don’t need to follow them
everywhere they go. Most of all, they need to
know that you have your own life.
12. Do some helpful research. If you want to
read more on how to get a man, there’s a good
e-book that could be useful:
A good way to meet someone is through other
people, or activities you enjoy. Some advice about
being genuine: Don’t take up hobbies or habits just to meet someone. If you meet him in a bar, he’s liable to be a drinker. If you meet him in a house of worship, he’s likely to be religious. First impressions are important, so if his first impression of you is “party girl”, it will be difficult to change. The same thing goes for if his first impression of you is “uptight girl” or “mind-game girl”.
That’s all pals, be sure to do these and you will give testimonies in church 🙂
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