This is what we are missing

Ever imagined what life would be like in the garden of
Eden? Well, I have and in my head it’s super cool.. just too
cool *wipes tears*. I’m sure I’m not alone, some of you
have also pictured what we’d be doing now if we were
still in the garden all naked and shii (no dirty thoughts
now *adjusts halo*). Well, I cooked up a few awesome
assumptions in my head.
Top on the list (yes! this is the one that saddens me
the most about this life), there would be no need for any
formal education whatsoever! Like no need for school;
classes, tests, exams and the depression that comes
with the whole thing. No lecturers that make you doubt
the existence of your brain, no having to study all the time
and sometimes the studying won’t even pay off (spirits
from the village (-__-). Along with the school part is the
fact that there would be no need for job hunting. It’s
crazy really how these people know most of the people
searching for jobs are fresh graduates and they’ll be
asking for 5 years experience, where’s the experience
supposed to come from if you can’t get the job in the
first place? No boss that makes you contemplate murder,
and no need to lose your dignity over some figures, none
of that in the garden of Eden. There might not even be
any need to work. just eat and sleep all you want! I’m sure
there would be no weight criticism in the garden so
fatties like me don’t need to stay off anything, eat
anything and everything… oh my *drools* (♥⌣♥). Back
to the matter * in Wizkid’s voice*
No need for electricity (to a Nigerian, that means no
suffering). Really! Imagine a world where PHCN has got
nothing on us, because we don’t even need their measly
service. (No power for about a week now (⌣́_⌣̀) )
Oh yeah one of the most heartbreaking of them all
when I think of it, in the garden of Eden, no childbirth
pains. I remember when I was younger I wanted to be a
nun so bad, not because I didn’t want to be with someone
for the rest of my life (I mean who would watch Titanic
and not want to fall in love?), but because I wanted to
escape it. In Eden it would probably just be “hold on the
baby’s coming” *2 seconds later* “you were saying?”.
Eve why??? (۳º̩̩́_º̩̩̀)۳.
People, in the garden of Eden there would be no cars,
hence no traffic. Imagine life without traffic, Lagos
traffic especially. Lagos traffic makes me think about my
life, every single time. I just stare and wallow in mistakes
and sadness and all that, None of that in Eden.
Errr I also assume that since we’d be all innocent and
stuff, you’ll probably just grow up, have feelings for
someone and marry the person, no complications, boy
issues and all that. And maybe it’ll be perfectly normal for
women to make the first move too and the man can’t
turn her down because we’d all love each other (˘⌣˘ʃƪ).
Note to the one that got away: in Eden, we’d have been
together forever with 3 kids *sniffs* … or better still, I’d
be married to Channing Tatum. Oh my *swoons*
We wouldn’t need money. Do you have any idea how
amazing that would have been? Practically everything we
do revolves around the urge to make money. We need it
for everything. It’s the reason I’m still in school (dad, hope
you’re not reading this?). It’s the reason for all the hard
work. I think I say “I need money” more than I say anything
else. All the stuff we need money for would be taken
care of already.
There would be no government, just God and angels I
presume. The average Nigerian somehow finds a way to
blame the government for every single problem of his and
those in power make it so easy too. There would be no
intoxicated, pot bellied guy that wakes up one day and
decides to change the classy name of a federal university
to… well y’all know what happened.
We’d all probably have what we call superpowers right
now. Like it’d be normal for everyone to fly when you
don’t want to walk, teleport, pass through objects and
so on. The number of times I’ve tried to move objects
with my mind is so embarrassing .
Music would be provided by the angels so these artists
won’t be able to torture us the way they do, singing
about booty and money and popping bottles and all that
Icing on the cake, death will have nothing on us!
Although I’m sure people like me would get bored but then
it’s better than having to go through one of those Final
Destination types of death *shivers* I’d rather be bored
for eternity please.
*snaps back to reality* I need a job. Bye folks

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