The Dorobucci Principle

How We All Fit on the Ladder and
All That Jazz (Might Just Be the Biggest Song of the Year)
Yes yes, the title is too long so bite me:-p
By the way, if you’re yet to listen to the song and
haven’t experienced “Dorobucci”, download the mp3 version here for free –> DOROBUCCI and listen
before you go ahead.
Okay, let’s start this all over again.
Hi everyone, it’s been one long hot minute hasn’t it? Sure
feels good to be back:-D
So I was still lying down last Saturday revelling in my
awesomeness, when my very good friend, let’s call him
Mr. Potato head, sent me a link to a song. Now, I had been
seeing Doro this and Doro that on twitter but I wasn’t
really interested, let’s face it, there are trends almost
every passing minute.
Until Don Jazzy tweeted the link to a high life song that I
downloaded and I was like “is this what all the hype is
about? (insert yawn)”. That was Friday night. So
Saturday morning, Mr. Potato head saved me and
introduced me to what in my opinion might be the biggest
song of the year (I was rooting for Davido’s ‘Aye’, a gist
for later)
Anyways I downloaded the song, and as they say the
rest is history. My life hasn’t been the same since I
downloaded this song and I really cannot remember the
number of times I have played it, there’s just this thing
about the song starting with the mad beat (Ehen, so
what else is new, you ask?) anyhoos, I’m not here to
analyze the song or am I?
So who/ what is a Dorobucci?
I will go with a definition that comes up a bit further in
the song which says ‘Doro is a cheerful giver; Doro is a
kind of boss’… Yes, right there is where I want to start
my analysis from so be a sweetie and go along with me on
this ride, as you discover where you fit on the ladder.
Don Jazzy begins the song of course, as a boss and we
are taken into the Dorobucci world…
If you’re a don, then you’re obviously a Dorobucci (I’m sure
the dons in Sicily will be uber thrilled at this. Let’s face it
Don Corleone is just too mainstream dontcha think? Doro
Corleone sounds much better no?)
If you’re big, bloody? Skillful and heavy (insert whoever
you want to here please) then you’re a Doro.
If you “gather more than everybody for the gathering”
and are frosh (not a smello) yup! you gorrit, you’re a Doro.
If you’re fresh (yes there’s a difference between ‘fresh’
and ‘frosh’, what’s the difference? I don’t know, ask
Olamide) flashy, classy and finer than any one you see
around you? Doro is you!
Oh and my favorite part of the song has to be Tiwa’s
part, to all the divas out there, yup! you’re all Doros. Doro
Bey, Doro Rihanna, Doro Tiwa, Doro Dija, Doro Patience.
All leaders are Doros and you follow leaders so why not
follow the ladder while at it? At this point I am confused
as to what ladder Tiwa is referring to but it makes me
laugh and brings to mind a certain ‘Follow the Ladder’ song
by Sister Agnes (please check out the video on you tube
here > https://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=cQ5zrHh7Rm4 )
Doro hot, doreminado (*sigh* why lawd?) doro meeee,
doro youuuuu, doro critiquesssss we the baddest
crewwwwwww *please don’t stop reading I beg you*
If you have surulere, you grab, you carry, you fast, sweet,
you knack more than a carpenter that has been knacking…
(Please don’t ask me) you’re either Ronaldo or Messi? You
know what you are.
If you’re an African prince (remember all those 419 emails
you tried your hands on back in the day, of course I’m
talking to you :-P) , I’d like to congratulate you on being a
Doro way ahead of your peers, a Mega Super Star Doro
you are and will always be!
If you eat or sell suya and fish? You’re a Doro
#Don’tArgueJustAccept
If you’re bad azzzin badder than baddo, badder than
Tony Montana and you’re double o seven or even Chuck
Norris, then you’re a Doro.
Doro is a yaro, with money who does what he likes… (this
cannot be over emphasized)
Doro is a boss and a cheerful giver (we all know what the
bible says about those ones yeah?)
Doro is a money spender, if your name is saved as ‘maga
1’ on any babe’s phone? Yep you’re a Doro!
( Awwwwww and you thought you wouldn’t make the
Doro list )
If you care a lot about your dental hygiene (flossing) yup!
You’re a Doro, or how else will you get that super mega
smile, that’ll make all the chickalas swoon as a gallant
Doro causing wahala all over the place?
As a Doro you must be naughty, be a baller, be poppin’, be
fly, be Doro etc
I could go on and on but I’m sure you get the general idea,
Dorobucci is a jam, and we love it because it has managed
to put all of us into our level of Doroness, abi is it
Dorobucciness? But wait, I have an issue and I want to
make it about gender here; what is a female Dorobucci
called? Is she a Dorobuccess? Or Dorobuccina? Or
perhaps the name is unisex? You know me I like to ask
questions. Anyways, Dorobucci is a lovely and fun song
and I’d like to give a huge shout out to the Mavin crew for
this one. What do we say, the dictionary peeps think
about adding Doro to the awesome words already in
existence?
Okay, before I bore you all to death let me stop here for
today, download and listen to ‘Dorobucci’, thank me later
and I’ll thank Mr. Potato head.
P.S. If you read through this article and you didn’t identify
yourself on the ladder as a Doro of any kind, then what is
this life really? Why are you here? Please for your own
good, say this simple short prayer after me:
‘Oh God of Dorobucci, locate me by fire (*5) in Jesus
Name’.
‘Any evil spirit delaying my Doroness , fall down and die
(*10)
If you said these prayers, then brothers and sisters
you’re the next Doro in line!
Alleluya! Chicken Suya! LAL!
Peace out!

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